


It's not EKEL tricity, it's  E lec TRIS ity

by Zoya1416



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Electricity, F/M, Humor, Muggle Studies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-01
Updated: 2020-03-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 10:27:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22968478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zoya1416/pseuds/Zoya1416
Summary: Ron is trying to pass his muggle studies.
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley
Comments: 6
Kudos: 18





	It's not EKEL tricity, it's  E lec TRIS ity

“It’s not EKEL tri ci ty, it’s E lec TRIS i try.”

Arthur Weasley had been no help to Ron at all, and Hermione had tried. She had really tried but - 

“How does it keep from leaking out the socks, ‘Mione?” Harry laughed at this.

“Sockets. Okay, Harry, _you_ explain it.” 

Harry had never taught anybody anything, but this couldn't be too hard.

“Um. Okay. It’s like sex. You can lie on top of a girl, but until you put it in her – “

“That’s not accurate at all!” He’d forgot she was listening.

Harry glared. “When you put it in her, nothing happens if you don’t move. When you move, it’s like electric current moving back and forth. That doesn’t turn on a lamp by itself.”

“ – Turns on a girl if _I_ put it in her.”

“That’s what _you_ think, Ronald."

“Look, you don’t turn on a lamp, even if the plug is in the socket, until you finish the circuit.”

“ – until I finish?”

“Yes. You finish the circuit, or close it. And you close the circuit by pressing a button.”

“I press a . . . button?”

Now Hermione was the one laughing.

“Yes.” Harry glared at her.

“So electricity works when the . . . plug . . . is in the socket . . .and the . . . socket . . . gives the lamp an orgasm?”

Hermione doubled over, shoulders shaking.

“Close enough,” Harry gritted out. 

Ron considered this. “I think you would have to clean off the lamp every time you used it. And the plug. And the socket.”

“Don’t forget the cord!” giggled Hermione. “Mustn’t forget to clean off the cord!”

“Yeah, that’s another thing I don’t get,” sighed Ron. “Even if ekeltricity, sorry, E lec TRIS ity, doesn’t leak out of a socket, why doesn’t it leak out of a cord?”

“The cord doesn’t send its electrical babies out because it’s wearing a rubber,” said Hermione solemnly. 

“Now you’re taking the piss.”

“I’m not. Ask the electrical – sex expert here.”

“She’s not lying, mate. Cords have to wear rubbers, or everyone gets a nasty shock.” Harry nodded vigorously. 

“One you don’t have to wait nine months for.” Hermione chimed in.

Ron squeezed his eyes shut, ignoring his best friends. “Okay. That’s enough about stuff coming out of sockets. So then – how does the electricity get into the sockets in the first place?”

%%%%%%%

“’You make electricity by burning coal.’” They’d finally given in and had Hermione’s parents owl them an article from Wikipedia. Hermione had spent an hour striking out words. Ron processed this. “Not wood?”

( _Tell him coal, it’s easier to explain than water. Or solar. Or Nuclear.’ Hermione Granger whispered.)_

“Coal’s just condensed wood.” Harry shushed Hermione when she would have spoken.

“’The heat from the coal burning boils water into steam.’ Like a teapot? You can use a teapot to make ekeltricity?”

“It would have to be a very big teapot, but yes.”

“’The steam pressure makes a magnet spin.’ What’s a magnet?”

“It’s a lodestone,” said Hermione. “Keep going.”

“The lodestone spins around a pole which is wrapped in copper wire.”

“Uh huh.”

“And the magnet scares the electricity off the copper wire so it runs away!”

Hermione started to shake her head, but Harry nodded his vigorously. “Close enough, mate! You’re getting that Muggle studies O!”

%%%%%%%%

“So, Hermione... ” he leered a little at her. “want my help with some sockets?”

“Yes, please! ” She handed him an – object – and clicked a button. It hummed and moved. “This really turns on my lamp!”

**Author's Note:**

> I know a British rubber is an eraser, but it's a pun which had to be used. Also, pop quiz! _You_ explain electricity and generators without peeking at your notes. If you understand electromagnetic induction first go, you get an A.


End file.
